Being a Perfectionist Helped me Succeed: Why Stop Now?
Let me start by asking “has it really helped you?” I’m sure in some capacities it has or else we wouldn’t be so attached to the perfectionist mindset. But if you think about the process related to your achievements and accomplishments, the “behind the scenes” so to speak, was it an easy road for you? Or was it marked with anxiety, depressed mood, insecurity, self-doubt, fear, etc.? I’m willing to bet that it was. *Although I might be cheating a little here since I know the ins and outs of perfectionism pretty well, first-hand experience and all :)
I want to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to have a sense of purpose and drive in life, but you need to ask yourself “at what expense am I doing this?” If you are losing out on quality sleep, relationships, physical well-being, that your quality of life is being impacted in any way, then it’s time to stop what we are doing and think about how to shift gears a little. Again, I’m not asking you to stop having personal or professional goals, I’m asking you to find a healthier way to approach your ambitions. This is by taking care of yourself better, having a healthier relationship with yourself, and healthier sense of self. Be your greatest cheerleader instead of worst critic. Because what good is it to have those accomplishments if you don’t get to enjoy it?
I’m here to tell you that it’s time to break free from the perfectionist worries and unrealistic expectations that keep you from living the authentic life and relationships you want to have. And what better time to start that change for the better than the present?
Brené Brown states in her book The Gifts of Imperfection (2010): “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” So who are you, really? Deep down, what makes you, you? Believe it or not, there is more to your being than the degrees or job titles you hold. Take a moment and mindfully reflect on those core parts to you. If you have any challenge with that, you can also ask a trusted friend or family member to start that process for you.
Cheers,
Dr. Jessica
