• You carry a responsibility of making others happy and “keeping the peace.”

• The thought of someone being upset with you or not liking you worries you immensely.

• You bottle up your thoughts and feelings in fear of conflict or confrontation arising.

• You worry about being a burden or an inconvenience to those around you.

As a people-pleaser, you might find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, tired, and/or irritable quite often.

By not setting boundaries for yourself, or expressing your wants and needs to the people in your life, you might find yourself overextended and suffering in silence.

This doesn’t have to be your experience any longer.

Through our work together, you can feel safe in letting go of codependency and people-pleasing tendencies all while staying true to yourself and those around you.

What does people-pleasing look like in action?

• having a hard time saying “no,”

• putting others’ needs before your own (even if it’s at your own expense),

• hyper-focusing on what makes others happy,

• seeking constant approval and validation from others, or

• saying that you’re “fine” or something is “fine” when the opposite is true.

Does this sound like you?

What you need to know about people-pleasing

The need to people-please can start at a very young age. We tend to learn this behavior from those around us. Parents may have modeled this for you and taught you to put others’ needs before your own. Parents and/or society may have given a direct or indirect message that putting others before yourself is what makes you a “good person.” This could then lead us to believe that doing the opposite of that means you’re a “bad person.”

People-pleasing and codependency ultimately stems from a fear of rejection and/or abandonment. The assumption is that by pleasing others and keeping them happy, we will always be loved and accepted. But we need to ask ourselves “at what cost?” You might lose your sense of happiness if you lose yourself in the process. It is possible to be loved and accepted; this starts by being secure in yourself and knowing who you are as a person. By being more in tune with yourself, you’ll have a better idea of what your wants and needs are and how to communicate them effectively to others.

Additionally, you can absolutely prioritize yourself; this does not make you selfish or a bad person. In fact, as the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” You would be doing a disservice to yourself and others if you go beyond your means and what you feel comfortable with. You can learn to speak up and advocate for yourself, assert yourself, and develop the confidence in yourself and in your relationships.

  Therapy can help you learn where these behaviors started from and how to unlearn the unhelpful patterns.

Don’t wait any longer to find your voice and sense of self once and for all.

If this sounds like the change you’re looking for, then click on the “schedule a free consultation” link on this page. I look forward to supporting you on your journey to well-being!

Resources:

https://psychcentral.com/health/tips-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser#causes